#92 Four Mantras to Radically Heal Your Relationships

Suffering is a part of life. You can’t avoid it. Obstacles will present themselves at some point. Much of the suffering we encounter when it comes to those that we love, is due to miscommunication.

This miscommunication wears many masks. Whether it’s sadness, anger, resentment, anxiety, or other hurtful feelings, they put a toll on our relationships and our health.

We only have so much energy in one lifetime, and being mindful of how to disperse that energy is extremely important.

I saw a great interview from Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Buddhist Monk, a few days ago. In the interview, he shared four great mantras that will not only improve your relationships, but also open a new dimension of trust, openness, and love.

Unbeknownst to me, I have been practicing a variation of these mantras.

During the past few months when my wife and I needed to uproot and change our life on the fly, I knew I needed to practice mindfulness and presence if I was going to continue being in a healthy relationship.

Below I wanted to share these beautiful mantras and why they are important.

1. Darling, I am here for you

People need to know that you are there for them. Being present for another is one of the highest forms of love. In our work-obsessed, digital crazed, and attention deficit times, being present is becoming more of a challenge. The simple act of telling another that you are here for them, speaks volumes. By giving our focused attention and time to another, we are lighting a lantern on their path of life, so if they find themselves lost, they know how to get back home.

2. Darling, I know you are there and I’m so happy

This mantra is very touching because it’s telling your loved one that his/her existence is a cause for your happiness. We take our spouses for granted all the time, and although it’s not done on purpose, it’s important to take more time to acknowledge the one you hold dearest.

3. Darling, I know you suffer. That is why I’m here for you

We should not take on another’s suffering. Instead, we can offer our understanding and compassion. When your loved one is going through a hard time, tell them that you understand and that you are here for them. The acknowledgment of another’s suffering kick starts the healing process.

4. Darling, I suffer. Please help me

When we come to a disagreement with a loved one, the ego gets bruised. The need to be right is amplified. Anger can corral the spirit like an avalanche, but when you let your guard down and tell the one that has caused your pain that you are struggling and need help, you invite compassion for yourself. This self-induced compassion gives rise and permission for your significant other to have compassion as well. 

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We are all trying to find a sense of peace and well-being in our lives. It’s a daily struggle, and I have compassion for anyone reading this. Suffering is a part of life. It’s what makes us human and alive. Be present for others as much as you can. Lend your loved ones an ear from time to time, and consciously listen to their silent wounds. Let your guard down. Embrace vulnerability. Let yourself and others flower into the miracles you are.

Love like there’s no tomorrow because there is only now. 

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With Love,
Anand

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