First Words

My mom and I would often talk about death.

We had our theories about what happens after we take the final dirt nap, but we would come to the same conclusion.

We don’t know.

The one thing she had, that I didn’t at the time, is hope.

Hope that there is something after, and perhaps the kindred spirits that we meet in this lifetime we’ll meet again. She wanted to be with her parents.

I can picture her as a little girl, walking through an open green field with hillsides sprawling with wildflowers in every direction. My grandparents are both holding each of her hands. They walk in the direction of a beautiful sunset to some uncharted path.

I have started to hope.

If you lost someone near and dear, I hope my words help. You are not alone.

First Words

I watch the sunset as time passes
Another day, another hour my soul clashes

I am broken
No direction
A lifeless child without guidance

The loss of a mother
A living lost father
A somber heart
That feels like it is ripping apart

I have nothing but this body
Even that sentiment holds true for the moment

Rumi said, “You have to keep breaking your heart until it opens”
I listen to him as if his flesh were mine
But still, I walk uncertain

Is this vessel worthy to bloom like the wildflower?
Where do I go from here?

That is a question that only myself to be can answer
He is not me, as he is from another time
I wish I could talk to him

I’d ask him, “how did you become free?”
“How do you look into the distance without a care?”
“How do you go one, where love and loss are too much to bare?”

I imagine him saying, “you have been looking for yourself
Look no further, for the answers you seek are within you
Live in your sadness, refrain from seeking refuge in the wisdom of another
Listen to what’s deep inside and let that be the compass that guides
It already knows what was, what is, and what will be
Find your own truth, Anand, and then you too can see
Greatness lies in the eyes of the beholder
That’s the only soul that needs your validation
You were created to make music
A tune unique to you, but one that everyone can feel
A tune one can reference if one chooses to heal”

I wake up from this imaginary trance
Knowing that my thoughts have taken hold
I awake with a renewed heart
The first words I speak

Ma

I write articles, stories, and poetry on well-being. Subscribe below to get on my free newsletter so my work can be delivered directly to your inbox. Thank you for visiting.